FEB 18 2025

It’s been almost 10 years since this bright light soared above. In light of the new Netflix show, Apple Cider Vinegar, which smears Jess’s memory and legacy with a character, Milla, who has enough identifiable similarities to Jess Ainscough’s life that it’s clearly her, but with a lot of lies to suit their own storyline (strange for a show that’s very premise is to shine a light on the importance of integrity and honesty), I’m unarchiving the below post…a tribute to my special friend that I wrote the week after her funeral.

I don’t know why I archived it in the first place. I’m a bit ashamed about that, like I’ve swept my memory of Jess aside. For whatever reason it felt like time to focus on the future now that I’m firmly in remission from my own cancer battle and perhaps it was too hard and too sad.

Anyhoo, now feels like a good time to unarchive it and remember the incredible Jess Ainscough as I saw her. I’m grateful to have these memories and I hope you’ll see her as the beautiful person that she was, and never as the ‘Milla’ character portrayed in the show. There’s so much to say about what’s wrong with the show and plenty of ‘fact-checker’ articles like this one but her former fiance, Tallon, and her Dad have shared strong statements much more succinctly than I ever could, which you can read snippets of, here, here and here. The ABC article just after she passed also shared more details about her cancer journey, and treatments specifically, which you can read here. 

MARCH 2 2015

My beautiful darling friend, Jess Ainscough, passed away on Thursday.  I’ve never experienced the loss of someone so close to me before and I’ve cried my little heart out (and I’m sure I’m not done yet).  But I know Jess would not want us to be sad; she would want us to celebrate her life.

I don’t know how to put into words just how much she meant to me but I do know that she would want us to celebrate her life in a big, bright, happy way.  So I’ve laughed and cried as I put together a bunch of pics that make me smile. This is helping me heal as we remember such a bright light in the world.

One thing about Jess was that she was never afraid to be in the spotlight, especially if it meant helping another person to embrace their own version of wellness.  And as I look back over her life, I know she paid a price for this – there have been awful attacks along the way but let me assure you, she never had an ‘agenda’ – she was pure love.  Just a young girl doing her absolute best to thrive with cancer,  sharing her journey honestly with the world in the hope that it might help someone.

Today I want to remember her not as the ‘Wellness Warrior’ but as the incredible friend that she was. 

2025 note: This photo (above)… so many here have now gone to Heaven. Jess on the far left, Yvette to the right of me also passed of cancer 5 years ago in the midst of more chemo treatment and Ash on the far right, who passed just last year when she was brutally stabbed in a Sydney shopping centre as she heroically saved her baby (you no doubt heard about it). Oh to go back to this night of rollerskating… 

Jess had this amazing ability to support and encourage you to believe that anything was possible.  Even if you said, ‘I want to go to the moon!’ she would have said, ‘Yeah, just do it!’ without a moment’s hesitation.  And with those few words you instantly believed that your wildest dreams were possible.

I first met Jess when we were introduced through a mutual friend because we had 3 things in common; we were in our early 20s, we had cancer and we had both started this weird thing called a ‘blog’ to feel less alone and share our lived experience while we tried to navigate the world with cancer.

Jess touched my life in so many ways.  She was someone I could hang with.  No need to speak.  No need to justify anything.  We could just hang.

She was infectiously positive.  A few months ago Jess, Tallon, my partner Davey and I were having lunch at a cafe in Mooloolaba, Ground.  There was nothing special about the day but at one point she turned to me and said, “We are the luckiest girls in the world aren’t we?”  I agreed whole-heartedly but when I got home I reflected on that statement, from a girl who had been fighting for 6 years for something that most of us take for granted on a daily basis and I said to Davey, “can you believe she said that?  Jess who has so much she could complain about, is so strong and so positive.”  She really was the amazing, positive beam of light we all saw in her online world.

I’ve been playing ‘What’s your favourite Jess memory’ with some friends… So many laughs and so many tears as we remember what a full life she lead.

Together we’ve been on retreats together, we’ve travelled Australia holding space for conversations around Self-love and Sisterhood (thanks to Yvette), we’ve dressed up in our best 90’s outfit to celebrate New Years, we’ve listened to the sweet sounds of Wes Carr in her living room, we’ve roller-skated, we’ve cried at her Mum’s funeral, we’ve laughed at her Dad’s singing, we watched a friend get married, and we’ve shared our dreams with each other.

She’s touched the hearts of so many of my Shine From Within students with her brave story and tips on eating from a place of love and we’ve posed together to celebrate and shine a light on kind, ethical fashion labels (something I’m so glad we did – how often do you get professional photos of you and one of your besties? I’ll cherish these photos together for many years to come). 

My favourite memory of Jess though is an afternoon and evening with her last Wednesday, just one day before she rose above us. 

I just so happened to be teaching nearby and messaged to see if I could pop in after the class. Tallon, Yvette, Jess and I laughed as Yvette told stories in the beautifully vibrant way that only she can, Tallon was as positive and beautiful as ever and Jess’s eyes were bright and her laugh was big. We laughed about our fur babies and how when we compare them to people’s babies we probably don’t quite realise just how offensive that can be! 

We talked about how amazing Jess and Tal’s wedding was going to be – how they negotiated with the venue to get a wooden floor on the marquee so that we could all get dressed up as we celebrated their love. That was Jess – everything she did was carefully thought-out, every detail tended to, to ensure the best possible experience for everyone else. I shared my experience of attempting to reign in some young girls I had just been teaching in an afterschool program around the corner and Jess, Tal and Yvette roared with laughter at how gently I would attempt to discipline anyone!

I didn’t think it would be the last time I saw her.  But then I know that’s exactly how she wanted it.

I know in my heart that she is absolutely at peace.  I just wish that the rest of us, especially her beautiful family and friends that have grown up with this shining light in their lives, didn’t have to learn to live here without her.

I find it hard to believe that I won’t hear her laugh again or hug her or text her about the latest crappy TV series we are addicted to.  I find it hard to believe that she’s no longer here.

But I love her and will always love her.  I know she knew that.  If you loved Jess’s message, her stories and her mission here on Earth, please remember that all she wanted was for you to have the courage to forge your own path, tune in to your own body, mind and spirit and live your life.  To be brave, be kind and be well.

I will always love you Jess.